David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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