I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
