I was born with a shot glass in my hand
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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