Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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