oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
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I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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