Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
