Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
