Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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