There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize