The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
