She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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