Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize