I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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