So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize