I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
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You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
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Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
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