This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
