wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize