weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
