Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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