All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
