i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.