your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
So squirting runs in the family.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.