the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
