My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize