it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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