laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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