i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize