Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
