I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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