well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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