so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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