turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
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and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
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That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize