The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize