I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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