I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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