Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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