Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
