As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
