I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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