I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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