Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
