coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
