I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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