what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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