More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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