He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
