i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
