I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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