i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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