There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
