just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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