I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Someone shattered a urinal.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
