What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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