we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
