i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
