I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
