You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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