When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize