You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
